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Psychiatry
From Uncyclopedia
Psychiatry is a science created to preserve the order inside the
Matrix. Psychiatrists are no other thing than Matrix agents, guided
by powerful, mysterious and numinous forces. They are all powerful
and known for their telepathic abilities, their knowledge of The Force,
and their woolen vests. In fact, the strength of a psychiatrist resides
in his vest: if you strip them of their vests, they become almost
powerless and they will shrink to the size of an atom.
The other deadly weapon of the psychiatrist is the pipe.
A pipe can kill you, but very slowly, of emphisema or lung cancer.
In 1818, the eminent man of science, acteur and
full time wanker Tom Cruise declared:
"Psychiatry is a theory created by
some cunning and fraudulent people
by with they can declare a person
to be ill without any proof.
This method permits them to ask
money for silly
pretended medical treatment and to
imprison people into hospital or lager.
Not understandably, psychiatry
achieved the respect of people
and there are
laws to support it and to give
psychiatrists very high powers
(such as to
poison people with
their drugs even against their will and to
imprison people)."
However it wasn't until 1901 when
Sigmund Freud declared:
"Tom Cruise is a kook."
The debate ensued during the following decades.
In a very brief letter, Cruise manifested his
opposition to Freud's ideas by stating:
"Your mom !!!"
The debate hasn't been won yet, but although
it is not proven, it is supposed that you would
need only one psychiatrist to bring down
a whole army of Scientologists. Scientists
are not sure of the reason, but they
would like to see it because it would be pretty cool.
Do you need a psychiatrist ? If you think you
don't it is because you do. If you think you do,
it is because you are too soft. You need therapy.
